Can you ever really be friends with your ex?

At least once in your romantic life, this lingering question will haunt you. According to certified marriage therapist Isadora Alman in her article from Psychology Today, the answer is dependent on the individual and the situation in which they last encountered their ex-partner...


At least once in your romantic life, this lingering question will haunt you. According to certified marriage therapist Isadora Alman in her article from Psychology Today, the answer is dependent on the individual and the situation in which they last encountered their ex-partner.

If the break-up was devastating to both or one party, they will most likely never want to see each other again. However, if the breakup was a mutual agreement or ended on peaceful terms you may think attempting to maintain a friendship is worth the shot.

What the research says
A study conducted at Michigan’s Oakland University that was published by Queens Journal asked students potential reasons for wanting to preserve a friendship with an ex-partner. Research concluded that their primary reason was to still represent the role of a supportive and reliable friend.

This isn’t necessarily a horrible idea. Since your ex-partner was most probably aware of your personal needs, strengths, and weaknesses, they are potentially worthy of continuing a friendship. Your ex-partner most likely had qualities that you admired, which can make cutting ties with them difficult.

Moving to a new stage
You tend to have the same friends when you are in a committed relationship. Perhaps these friendships have become a significant part of your life, and you can’t imagine discontinuing your connection with them. Remaining civil and not “choosing sides” or “ruining friendships” might be your easiest choice.

Ultimately, you may still have an emotional connection for your ex-partner. Your attraction to them may no longer exist, but the quality time you share with them is still important to you. Because the chemistry and enjoying their company haven’t vanished, it’s difficult to suddenly deplete that from your life.

Although these possibilities can happen, the chance of remaining friends can seem unrealistic. However, if both partners are committed to maintaining the friendship that they’ve established, a possibility to stay friends does exist! Understanding and agreeing on why the romantic relationship ended is a crucial stage before continuing to maintain relations afterward. Most importantly, mutual respect is required.

You cannot compare your relationship with the couple next to you. Each is different. Accepting and understanding yourself is vital before becoming that faithful source for someone else.

Source: WomenWorking



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